At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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