yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
