I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
