if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
