WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want nice things and good sex
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
