I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
