And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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