Just cropdusted the office
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Randomize
