My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
