id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
