You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
now i know why i became what i already was.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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