You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize