I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
