We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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