Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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