My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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