Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
