I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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