Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
