maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
