i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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