where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
