I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
worst night to have a conscience
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
