My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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