so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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