Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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