I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
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Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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