when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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