I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
