Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
