I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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