I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
