we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
