I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
