Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
