the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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