you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
