I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
