I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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