Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
