I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
