Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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