I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
