You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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