wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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