I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
