I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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