question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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