fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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