You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I am one with the molecules
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
