i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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