so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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