i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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