Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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