Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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