Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
