Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
