what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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