i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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