If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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