They should really pass out barf bags in church
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this just has baby written all over it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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