i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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