NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
