Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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