I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
a search helicopter?!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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