yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
